Is it a boat? > The Glossary
Glossary
Noice
Not nice, horribile, shed. A pisstake-scrub version of nice
Toidy
Ask craig about his illusion bodykit. - when the conversation is waining say, "it looks toidy", he will be chuffed.
Weooeel
Like "moooi cav" this at the start of any sentence immediately invalidates the rest of it. Scrubs use it in sentences about their cars or "motas" as they call 'em
Owowow
See stevie
Moooi Cav
the start of a bul-shit sentence
Mancuba
A large ugly thing [from Doom II]
Stevie [being a]
Spouting rubbish, or far too technical stuff for anyone to understand.
Bushpig
"four be four"
Cav-Crossed-Arms
showing pride and appreciation of a car by standing next to it arms crossed whilst opening mouth by a quarter in a "eugh" shape.
Cripple Hook
Check the way that the driver of the next XR2 or Nova you see is driving. He/she will be leaning forward with one hand on the steering wheel at the 12 O clock position. The wrist will be in a similar pose of a stereotypical homosexual man with weak wrists or suprisingly enough:- a cripple. This is the "cripple hook" presense of this indicates the driver will be up for a race.
Kev-look-backs
Once a race has been initiated it is a dead-cert that the passenger on the back seat of the pursued car will start looking back. 72.3% of them will be wearing an Ellesse cream cap, failing that a pringle one. We presume they are called Kev and they look-back, hence the term
Town Toast
When the chat at the car park about what mods we are getting gets boring the call goes up for a "town toast" basically we race around our town. (our town being a fullsize recreation of town on a closed runway)
Scrub
Collective term for those who do cripple hooks / do look-backs, home is "down the estate"
Fag-out-the-window
The well known spark of a fag being hurled out the driver's window indicating that the race is on and getting serious.
Glen
A universal term for, Homosexuals, Bad Driving, Slow cars (i.e Golfs), A flat tyre can become a "flat glen" or a blowing exhaust is "my exhaust is glen" (This originated whilst getting a haircut at "hair for glens" and a 'stylist' was asked for the hair dryer - his name was Glen and he was very much a turd-burgler)
Boaty
Car with bouncy suspension is boaty, car with bad brakes has boaty brakes, A brand new Kia or Daewoo for example are boats before they even leave the factory.
Requesting a fly-by
Borrrowed from a Ford Orion forum this term is used when another road user is at the recieving end of being driven past quickly. They "request" it by either having mods of any description, or by driving quickly.
That's a race
Said as soon as a vulgar bodykit, "motorsport" sunstrip, LED washer lights, FUK sticker, Flamer kit, Bass install, 19" rims, Peco big bore 4" or Pinetree airfreshner are seen or heard.
Onujah
[pronounced On-ooh-Jah] Just chanted randomly at Sorted Orions with bits missing, probably because it is him from the Sorted Orions board!
Sorted Orions
After infiltrating their forum, we learned that the words "sorted" and "orion" should NEVER be used in the same sentance, unless taking the piss.
Are You sayin'
A pisstake of a Sorted Orion owner saying- "Are you saying a SI 130 [orion] is slow!", why yes we are dear friend, according the the stats on your own site, they are horribly slow.
King Captain
Derived from stevie who's Polo 1.0 was parked in a way that exposed maxi-suspension travel. It is a commonly used term about everything for example if a car had particulary high (boaty) suspension and it's steering was on full-lock, on a hill, at a portrait view it would appear as a 'King Captain'.
Red Rocket
A "Rich" derived term describing a disabled or mentally handicapped person.
Window Licker
A Red Rocket in the window seat of the Sunshine variety coach.
Pan-Faced specials
Red Rockets with a pan-face profile.
Knuckle-Dragger
Richard's neighbour has another term for red-rocket.
Sunshine variety coach
Takes the Red Rockets to Tescos and allows Russ to almost mow them down by making them all cross a busy car park to get to the refuge of the "Retarda Lift", The big yellow handles and the dribble-proof lino floor.
Waawaawaa
A phrase commonly spoken by Rus at school. Normally used in reference when asked about plain silly/stupid modifications to cars.
Double Dildo Dick Stretcher
Used to describe any object that resembles an oversized Ann Summers product.
Mentals
See 'Red Rocket'
Collette
Generic name given to girl fitting typical discription of female inhabitants of council estates. Defining features can be swept back blonde hair, big 'hoop' dangily ear rings, "harsh" face, Adias/Kappa baggy track suit, pushing baby in pram on way to school/cruise - the baby is smoking.
Quick Sticks
With a mars bar as incentive Stevie slips into quick-sticks mode and rebuilds the whole engine before breakfast. Someone doing a 'quicksticks' entails overly fast hand/leg/head/body movements to perform a tast that would only need normal body coordination, for example: keeping balance when about to fall over, this would usually be combined with "ow ow ow" before inevitably falling over.
Maxi Modders
Throw-away generalisation of all cruisers and car modders.
On a mission
Derived from sun and moon strips on car windscreens this phrase is used to describe the driving style of the four door astra (with peco powermaster) in front of you which is driving eratically and billowing blue smoke.
Mesh'd 'n' smoov'd
Believe it or not even a Fiat Punto's looks can be improved by filling in the Numberplate recess and meshing the rear valance (dont forget the big hole in the mesh for the big bore 4").....or so the scrubs think.
Pownds da gwound
e of my favourite quotes from an early Max Power video r.e. a modded Corrado.
Fittapaldis
Back in the day the fittapaldi was a popular alloy wheel
Deema kit
Legendary bodykit fitted to 205 and laterly Clios, it's a well made kit but looks shite when craig sticks it on is nova and forgets to paint it.
Diesel Diff
If you cant afford a "Cossie" slap a Diesel Diff in ur Sierra Saph, it gives u 27bhp and alot more traction, sounds too good to be true.
Shed
Another term used to describe a shit car. "he's 'shedded' that" means his mods have ruined a reasonably nice little car.
"he's gotta Big Bore"
Spot a peco-powermaster exhaust sticking out from a car and you've spotted a race my friend.
Police, Police, Police!
Often used call when doing 13#mph, or about to launch at the loights, means there's police near and to moderate your driving accordingly
Go Go Go
Police are not seen or just plain ignored. If ur hearing these words, you're likely to be driving a car with blue lights following you.
Slayed
When a car is raced and beaten.
"R.S Arches...."
You're a teenager with a modded Ford are ya? well you'll have R.S. arches then wont ya?!
F.S.E powa boost valve.
The science speaks for itself, if you fit one of these ur likely to have no clue about anything.
Novataken
this is what happens when vauxhalls try to race* us. * at trackdays of course
Go on Green
The first rule of a fair streetrace.
"See you later Asshole...."
When ur in a 172 and a VTS comes to play....the VTS driver is told this.
Skandy
Derived from Skandinavian-Flick cornering technique used often in the WRC and on the One Way System.
Back-out specials
Inducing the back to step out in cars, easier in Rear-Wheel drives but can be achieved by using Lift-off overglen in Front Wheel drives.
Lift-off overglen
Go to the roundabout near your fav. fast food outlet, accelerate round at the edge of your grip, then lift off suddenly turning the steerin wheel towards the roundabout even more than you already are. The back will step out and you can get that "sideways feeling" by turning into the slide.
Darkhorse Ditch-finders
A quality tyre - will take you comfortably to the scene of your next accident.
Park-up
Said in a northern "I eat coal for tea" accent, we're mimiking a mate we used to cruise with, when we used to "park-up" with "stump" and hoot at bird and collettes, some weekends we would do it friday, sat and sunday nights. - toidy.
Stoump
see red rocket
The Oval [aka Laaydy Mead Race TRACK]
Hallowed turf, not for cricket, but for endless fun and skidpan practice. park-up and watch, choose your prey and then chase them round the pylon in the middle. fun with a capital F.
Achieved
Courtesy of a sorted orion website, "achieved" refers to 0-60 times and maximum speeds. Or at least the figures he tells Tracey whilst trying to pull 'er down the Fag and Firkin.
Toasted
This phrase is uttered after a race has occured: "i toasted that peco-equipt micra" or just "TOASTED!" usually said in a cocky American accent to make your opponent feel really good.
Clear cators
Many cruisers have unanimously decided that for the 'clean' look it's best to go for clear-lensed side indicators....unfortunately many go for different types on different cars which are tasteless.
What'll she do?
This phrase is uttered when the car is usually on a long straight (air field) and in top gear with the throttle opening on maximum setting.
Top-end test
see What'll she do?
The Python
This is a driving style/stance similar to the Cripple Hook but is for the more ferocious and race-ready cruiser. The steering wheel is grasped with the right hand around the 12 oclock position and the elbow in the 6 oclock position (kinda like a yellow steering lock). This arm position symbolises the Python snake as it erects itself ready to attack it's prey. The gear stick is held with the hand doing a sideways horizontal 'glen' ready for a very quick 1st-2nd gear change. The neck and head are lurched forward and the mouth needs to have an opening similar to the "cav-crossed-arms" look.
Fate O-AR Cauliflours
As fitted to the Scirocco in it's hay-day, these budget tyres have the tread pattern equivalent to the vegetable Cauliflour and probably give the same level of grip.
1.2 autobox diesel 2-speed
The technical specification of a car that is quite literally not worth the porcelain i sat on 10 minutes ago.
A "Handy"
Is the term used when performing a handbrake turn. "He did a 'handy' into Waitrose car park"
Mynt
A favourite of the scrubs. This typifies anything that is to the delight of a scrub. For example if you open your boot and there are 10 Maxibass subs and an array of neons then there's bound to be a scrub near by who will say "that's f***in mynt mate".
Flute player
A mental or red-rocket who happened to do something very amusing on one of video nation's shorts. On hearing the piano entry in a Mozart Piano concerto from his vast collection of CD's, the mental moved his arms into the position that a flute player would use to hold a flute whilst fluctuating his lower lip. Stevie can do a great impression of this.
"Got any plans?"
The notorioius question that is posed to scrubs/cruisers when looking at their 306 with windscreen washer LED's. It is promptly followed by "Weeooooel" and "Mooi Cav".
Quad head lamps
makes a car quicker straight away, even faster still if u use an adhesive quad headlamp converter kit, toidy.
Harness Pads
velcro four of these beauties on ur seatbelts, ultimate cripple hook/python modification. If i was to build a scrub vehicle these would be on my wish list.
Weapon
Pug-performance slang for a real shed.
Chariot
Wagon Works slang for a real shed
Laser Racing
One of the first mods Rich did to his Golf Driver, was to add "laser racing" wiper wings to his windscreen wipers, they didnt compliment the car due to their faux-chrome appearance.
Richbrook Racing
Forget Ralliart, if ur seriously considering modding a car checkout Richbrooks range of quotoli parts. ranging from carbon look air freshners to push button start kits, "say richbrook for racing"
Folia tec
Chequered flag decals to stick down the side of your mota, dont forget the wide array of colours available as caliper laquers. mmmm or your drum brakes?
Four be Four
for those who cant say the word, "by". - four be four was invented to let them describe the transmission of their motas.
Braided hoses
When spending 17K on a nova isnt enough, a little more can be wasted by making all the tubes in the engine bay a nice anodised blue colour.
Anodised parts
"oim hopin to coler cowde moi mota wiv a bwrite bloo anadoisd bee sting aewial"
Im interested in buying...
Russ likes to use this line when he's bored, often said to unwary car salesmen their testdrive provides interesting website content afterall. (Used with on Supra, Celica, Starlet, CRX, Audi, Civic, Integra, Rallye, Silvia)
"um, how much will you give me part ex on this"
Preceeding: I'm interested in buying this...
"Do you want to come out with me, or shall I go alone" [on test drive]
Russ says this to kind and unsuspecting car-salesmen. Usually resulting in Si being picked up in say, a brand new mini cooper s, and doing a burn out - resulting in the car having to be driven round with the windows open, and the test drive policy of that garage being revised.
Student Loan
Petrol money, Insurance Money, Car puchase money, Beer money, Road tax money, Eating out money.
Super Special James Change
A method of changing gear so fast you would not belive. Employed by leaning forward alot, grabbing the gearlever and wrenching it back (in to 2nd or 4th) using not only your arms, but your whole body. Changes can be done in as little as 0.12 microseconds. Russ perfected its use, resulting in a "repairable" 307 HDi and a "she'll 'ave to go to the factory" golf 1.6 hireglen.
Teeth on the kerb
He knows it.....
Kerb stomping
Fun apparently?
He knows it
If he doesnt know it he deserves stomping
WRC-lip conversion
He's known it since he was born.
Ich
Something that does something in conjunction with "ow ow ow" and "quicksticks".
Tool/"Thats a f***'in tool.."
Used by Scrubs to describe a "capable" car.
Blowpipe boy
After modifying his mk.2 fiesta 1.1 to the max (with a blowpipe exhaust trim) this cruising character has bought a mk.4(?) fiesta and completely ruined the reasonably good looking hatchback with foliatec and peco-sponsored goods.
Maxibore
A hand-crafted exhaust from the department of design and technology, featuring twin 5 inch poiypes for a universal kit. For sale at £50 adds 34.5 bhp to any car.
Stacked it
When high speed and too much lift-off overglen come into play. A common fate to many maxi-modders in sticky (or unsticky in this case) situations. Advise more practise on the 'oval'.
Slammed noineen miwl
The regulation lowering height for any scrub-mobile. If it isn't this low then you are definately a 'glen'.
Cruise Central
The hot spot for cruisers, usually featuring a car park full of foliatec/peco/maxibass/mossfett/neon/k&n-equipt cavs/orions/novas/corsas/saxos/fiestas/sierras/escorts.
Wonky ports
When the application for using a jigsaw was required but only Swiss army knife was used to carve holes in Gav's bass enclosure in the boot of his orion.
Combat Kit
Why not be original and make the appearance of your Corsa / nova / orion / fiesta / sierra / Cavalier 10 times worse with the fitment of a Combat Kit. Overly-emphasized RS-arches and "phat" "Deema" wings are used to transform the looks of a normal car into hideous piece of ****!
De-lock
Makin yer car smoover boi takin owt tha door locks and key 'oles
MOSFET
Somfink to do wiv stereos maite, oi also somtoimes say it when oim talking about offsets on me allys, oi say "mosfet offset".
Seven Day Wonder / Producer
A ticket handed out by police designed to inconvenience you after being pulled for doing nothing wrong....or for 105.6mph...and then the policeman said "why were you speeding" and I said "whatever"
Snooper
Makes cruising at 80 alot safer, due to the "stealth" properties your car enjoys after plugging in a noisy traffic light detector to your fag lighting port.... blip blip beeep "Oi fink there's a pig round 'ere or maybe a Gatso"
GATSO
Speed cameras, derived from Got no Arresting of Terrorists to do So Oim going to catch speeders.
Oi copper cruisins not a crime
A well used slogan on many a cruiser's bumper sticker or even Bomber Jacket, as seen on the N Trance music video.
Oily road
Term used (generally by Rich) when too much right foot down is applied before, on and after roundabouts! (see Rich Crashes)
Makky D's
General meeting point for kroozers who don't need to put on anymore weight. Usually includes a white circular area on which burn-outs can be practiced!
RU Cruisin.co.uk?
When si wants to cruise i get this text.
Take it to Luv Lane
Gravel car park - enough said.
Doughies
Doing a do-nut in yer motor, noice.
"Worthy of a Derby Road toast"
Ask simon where he took the P1s during his valeting routine.
ABC Security
Security with a big shiny smile.
B.K. (racing)
Fast food outlet, and rear valance sponsor of the modded Manta up tha cruise, driven by the David Seaman look-alike.
Twin D.T.M upsweeps
Farking toidy exhausts, fit em to ur Sri or Gtoi maite.
B.K tray display
B.K tray display
Putting B.K trays under your rear wheels, pulling up the handbrake and driving round the pylon til they melt.
Boaters
Steering left and right eratically to make your car "dance" it's fun.
Flamer kit
Make your exhaust flame, in a "look at me im a twat" way.
Maxi-bass / Bombbass
Cheap I.C.E equipment, just taken the remains of Richards "Bombbass" sub with rainbow LEDs and built in amp to the tip what a pity.
On-Site
Russ was "on site" so much last year that we have adopted it into out language as a piss-take.
Band Camp
Brrrb.
Faahkin' E-C-U
A term often used by a race-mechanic Si knows, and more often used by everyone else taking the piss out of something or other. Or just randomly shouted about for some reason.
DoiynaMat
After filling your car's luggage space with 15-inch Maxibass Ultra's, yer gonna need sum quatilly sound deadnin to avoid any spilled frequencies from within ya motah. Completely ineffective, but sounds mynt on ya spec sheet.
Quatilly
Quality - something made by Foliatec or PECO.
Optigrip / Maxigrip
The ideal launch surface and !20 mph cornering/braking blacktop variant. Chews up ya 'Woosungs', but avoids any 'Lift-off overglen'. Its bad when your on the maxigrip limit and it runs out on a corner...hello understeer.
7-grand dump
7000 rpm is an engine speed neccessity prior to releasing the clutch if you're going to beat Dwain in his Sorted-orion off the Ladymead Loiyghts
Pet-rul
Petrol in a northern accent said randomly when petrol is needed.
"It doesn't want to"
...be a police car, ...rain, ....be closing time said frequently when im with G.
Oh Dear
All of us say this if a shed of a car is spotted, or a tasty young lady or a PC with a speed gun.
Fit Fit Fit
Used to describe some Surrey women who stand at the edge of the city racetrack in their finest clubbing gear.
Handbrakers
Pulling the handbrake in short bursts to "achieve" a funny sound and rear suspension compression. (whilst car is moving in town centres preferably)
Rich horn specials
Hitting the horn quickly and abbruptly in rhythm to induce a cool horn symphony to impress the young ladies at cruise central, technique adopted by most, if not all on isitaboat.
Gremlin
Derived from a weird, small kid at school who looked like a gremlin from the film "Gremlins". Someone called a Gremlin is usually of gremlin-pedigree and goes "uurrrrrreeeeiiiiihh" (sounds like a dinosaur/chewbaka-type animal)
"Do a display"
This comment is issued to the owner of the preceding car to leave the driveway/car park/scene/pet-rol station. In doing a display an example would be to 'spin the glens' .
"Spin the Glens"
Do a wheel-spin.
Reverse-doughy
Achieved by selecting reverse in a front wheel drive car, applying full lock steering, reversing around in a circle and then flooring it in conjunction with pulling up the handbrake. "instant doughnut".
Maxi-slay
This particular comment is relevant following a combination of a 'town-toast', 'toasted', 'go go go', '7-grand-dump', 'doughy', 'reverse doughy', 'spin the Glens', 'do a display' and anything else affiliated with thrashing the living **** out of your car to achieve it's maximum performance.
Tank-Slapper
Spinning out, hitting kerbs and central reservations whilst cruising or lapping the Oval in the Ice.
Project
Used to describe something that could benefit from modifying e.g cars, women etc.
Can't do it
Famous Stevie phrase. Owowow
x2319
Complicated technical description of something that no one understands e.g. the words "good" and "Nova" in the same sentence (just kidding).
Spool
...Yada yada yada turbo chat.
Kappa Slappa
Term used to describe - smoking/tracksuit wearing/attitude infested/Creole Earinged/Sovereign Ringed/died hair - tied back/facial sores/Reebok classics/Bucket genitalia/Wears same "fong" all week. kinda girls - synonymous with cruises. For every fit bird photographed at the Cruise by Max Power there are 50+ of these Kappa's shuffling round. They are also generally engaged to be married since the age of 15 too
Liimmmitteerrr
Courtesy of Tiff Needell Video "burning rubber" that Sam had. Adopted by Simon to describe the systematic destruction of an £11K clio. The picture shows Tiff, attempting a Cripple hook but achievin a dash appreciation pose. Toidy.
GooOOOOoood
See he knows it
Air3strip
An excellent local race track
Pork Scratchings
Nice pub snack.
More ripples than a camels cunt
The desrciption that the recovery man gave Rich when he spun his car on an oily road infront of 200 boy racers!!
Fucked it!
Thats fucked then! My comment to Russel, once recovery man had confirmed big end bearings had gone, when his 2hundy died due to oil starvation, not through his own fault though!
Death slay
Going for a death slay - a frenzied/manic/looking for a race fast drive...
Gotcha!
The first thing a shoplifter hears before being "persuaded" back in by the Chief.
Keyless Ignition
A G special where he can transform his car into a keyless one by just turning around a dash switch.
Nitrose
I was asked when I was going to fit my nitROSE innit...lol
Dust
High in fat, low in fat: Dust
